Dear Parents,
When we set out to bring a new life into the world, mental illness isn't the first thing we think about. Instead, we prepare for months, reading tons of books, magazines and blogs about how to breastfeed our baby, how to get them to sleep through the night, and how to make sure they hit their milestones. We spend hours decorating their nursery, registering for baby shower gifts, and deciding on a name for our new child.
But do we ever stop and think about the statistics and how the probability is very high that she'll develop some type of mental health issue?
All I'm asking is that as parents, we don't turn a blind eye to the mental health crisis plaguing our country today. The fact that mental illness affects more Americans than cancer, heart disease, and diabetes combined means that it's an issue we all need to address. Especially when bringing a new person into the world.
So while we're making sure our kids get their annual physicals, dentist appointments and eyeglasses while we chauffeur them to their sports and music classes, sign them up for SAT prep classes and more, let's also check in with them about their mental health. Let’s commit to talking with them about mental wellness from an early age to open up the conversation.
Because Mom and Dad are the best people who can offer the level of support and care when she feels the first pangs of anxiety. Mom and Dad can be the first to listen when she needs to talk that morning she's unable to get out of bed and it's not the flu. And who better to confide in than those who brought her into this world?
When she is able to open up, listen. Don't judge. Know that your daughter's mental illness has nothing to do with your style of parenting. Be there to hold her when she cries. Go with her to her doctor's appointments. The shock will soon wear off. What she really needs is for you to not abandon her when she already feels so alone.
You can get through this together. A mental illness diagnosis is not a life sentence. She can find recovery and kids aren't out of the question so you still may get to spoil those grandkids.
Remember that she will always be your daughter. Mental illness doesn't change who she is as a person. If anything, it will make her more resilient, compassionate and kind. Learning to love her through the struggle will likely change you in those ways, too.
Sincerely,
Jenn